


Faster Than Breath

by John_Malfoy



Category: Fate/stay night (Visual Novel)
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Fantasy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29106510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/John_Malfoy/pseuds/John_Malfoy
Summary: All his life he ran. At some point from danger. In some, on the contrary - to meet it. Towards what was behind his desire to help people. But one day he found an opportunity ideally suited to his wishes to save everyone.
Relationships: Emiya Shirou/Artoria Pendragon | Saber
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	1. Prologue

** beta-reader **   
** Nyanvic  **

In fact, no matter which side you look at, all of it looked strange. So strange that the mind refused to understand this and accept reality.

Routine actions took place automatically. No, of course, I understood with my mind that I was moving as usual only for myself, but for others ...

Well, for others, I just laid in bed. A moment later, through the house, built in the traditional Japanese style, a figure that was not visible to the ordinary gaze swept through, which seemed to people to be just a red line or a flash. It lingered in the bathroom for a split second, and immediately moved to the kitchen to turn into a young man with red hair, dressed in a school uniform and an apron stopping near the stove.

It was me. And that flash of red was also me, that in a couple of moments was in the kitchen, after got dressed at lightning speed and in a matter of seconds did all the necessary morning procedures.

It happened unimaginably fast. Indeed, I was quick. So much. It all started ... a long time ago, I would say. Most likely, this ability has always been with me. At least as long as I remember my conscious life, which began after the Fuyuki Great Fire. No one knew about it except me and my dear friend, whose name I cannot reveal to anyone because of the danger. I have never told anyone that I am… somehow different, because this is not within the normalcy of an ordinary person.

However, this normalcy has never been applied to me. Yet I move faster than the human eye, and can create swords out of thin air. Is it normal? No, but it`s still a part of me, and I can never deny this part.

Kiritsugu, my father, did not know about my abilities, so he could not help me develop them. To be honest, this force did not even show itself until one significant incident, unfortunately, which occurred literally half a day before my father`s death.

Emiya Kiritsugu was killed by a man ... a strange man. To be honest, it was impossible to get a clear picture from the scraps of memories in my head. Would you believe if I said that this was a man whose body was enveloped in red lightning and who moved so fast that it was impossible to follow him? I would not believe it too.

Nevertheless, it was like that. His eyes glowed scarlet. Because of his incredible vibration, it was impossible to discern a single detail of his body, but one thing was forever ingrained in my memory ... In those red eyes, bubbled such hatred for me... I was scared. I was scared as much as I have never been scared in my life. But that was what made me who I am now.

But when that man killed my father by piercing his chest with his hand, I felt unprecedented anger. The rage that was literally tearing me apart could not be stopped, and being usually a calm person, I literally just lost my mind out of pure rage, as if something inside me was broken. And at that moment, it seemed to me that I saw a smile on the face of that person, but the next moment he seemed to blur in the air. No, he didn`t disappear ... He just ran. Fast. Like lightning. And I followed him.

It was fast. Not remembering myself from anger and rage, I ran, giving all my best. Faster than any human, I ran past buildings, cars, people, but not paying attention to anything. Only he was ahead — my father`s killer. He ran fast, much faster than me, and I could not keep up. This thought simply did not fit my head. Then, I put all of myself, my desires, thoughts, Prana into my body — all into my legs. I was ready to give anything and pay any price just to catch up with this bastard!

And magic answered my call. Faster ... Faster .... Faster! FASTER! Everything around blurred, became lines striving forward, and I ... I ran. As fast as I have never run before. But I still couldn`t catch up with him. I was still too slow in comparison.

Then, I failed. And since then, I have devoted my whole life to this rapid movement. Because just then, in the Fire, when Kiritsugu found me, exhausted from fatigue, trying to get people out of the fire, I saw a spark in his eyes.

He made it. He managed to. He was able to find me and save me…. He was fast enough for that. Therefore, I also have to keep up ... now and forever. And I swear to myself that I will be fast enough so that such tragedies will not happen again!

And now, two years have passed. Two years spent on self-learning, searching for strength and searching for this person. Two years of bitterness, despair and anguish.

And I found it. The strength that has become my faithful assistant.

And finally, **_him_**.

My name is Emiya Shirou, and two years after my father was killed, I found the culprit. The person I thought I would deal with forever.

... Who would know how wrong I was then.


	2. Chapter 1

**beta-reader**   
**Nyanvic**

He felt that he could no longer walk ... he was too tired. It was too hard to breathe, and his head was spinning as if he was riding on a carousel for an hour without stopping. These stones under him now didn't feel as an unsuitable bedding, and it was more beckoning than was possible.

But everything around him was on fire.

The night, filled with despair, curses and pleas, could not leave anything good in his memory, but none of this was important for him. Despite the intolerable heat around, the ash, the stench of burnt bodies, he walked forward, not stopping for a moment, because he knew that as soon as he stopped, cold and unpleasant fingers would close around his heart and then everything would be over.

He couldn't let this happen.

As much as he wanted to fall, to close his eyes and be done with all of it, he just couldn't stop. Not here and not now.

He felt gloomy and cold breath of death constantly, sending swarms of unpleasant goosebumps down his spine. It was so hot that it felt like even stones were melting, let alone wood and fragile human bodies. But he did not feel anything like that - death was too close, ready to pounce on him fiercely and unbearably, suppressing the will and not giving the opportunity to resist the inevitable.

_I don't want to die._

So the boy thought, taking step after step into death. Leaving behind everything that could connect him to his daily life.

This fire broke everything. It took everything. Home, family, his dear people and other's. It took away joy, hope, memories and personality, leaving only despair behind. An irresistible despair, which turned into a collapse of the image given to existence.

The black sun, on which the boy's gaze fell, responded with a gloomy radiance. It birthed curses, corrupting everything it touches, burning out the spark of life from all living things. People, objects, trees, grass, earth ... Nothing will grow on this land for many years. For many years it will be cursed for someone else's mistake and will have to pay other people's debts.

It shouldn't have existed, this black sun that rises above dead souls.

Its existence contradicted this reality, striking all around with its curse.

But the black sun grinned, expelling an emotion alien to the living.

But there was no one to realize it, feel it, accept it ... except for one surviving boy, unable to tear himself away from this miracle.

And this miracle pressed, pressed so hard that his legs could no longer hold him, and he fell to his knees, making every effort not to finally fell on his face.

And the black sun rejoiced, emitting laughter.

As if having heard something, the boy raised his eyes to the sky, hoping, in the depths of his soul, to see a clear sky, but no, all that he could see with his tired eyes was just an unnatural black spot that devoured the very space by its filth that gradually poured out of it.

And he did not understand ... why it was here, what was its meaning? He could not understand anything, therefore, he just continued to peer into this emptiness, slowly getting rid of the awareness of the reality around him and of himself.

_I don't want to die._

It flashed through his head and sounded around.

The boy breathed it out weakly, barely audible, so that even the one standing next to him would not have heard his words. But he didn't care.

His daily life, which was once not so important, now disappeared, turning into dust and ash, leaving nothing behind that could help to restore it.

But he didn't want to lose more.

The black sun grinned at the void reflected in his golden eyes.

He wanted to run ... to run so far and so hard that he could catch up with the life that had been lost in an instant. But that was not in his power. And the world around him darkened, because everything that once surrounded him: ruins, fire and this black sun ... everything disappeared, and he realized that there was nowhere else to fall. The boy who lost his balance, unable to even scream, began to fall into darkness.

Falling further, deeper, lower ... until finally all kinds of feelings disappeared from his perception. Up ... down ... left ... right ... spiraling nowhere, until finally came across something incomprehensible.

A bright light that flickered in the distance, as if the sun, before which he had recently been kneeling, was calling to him. Pulling. It offered a choice.

For a moment, the boy had thought about death. After all, they describe the end of the road something like that? Moving through the tunnel to the white light, removing the soul from the body, and then finally peace. The absence of pain, fatigue and despair, everything that can somehow prevent from finally resting from the heat and the cold fingers of death, tightly, like steel threads, holding his heart. You move harder, and they will cut your very essence into pieces. You will not move, and they will continue to shrink until they finally erase from reality not only the body, but also the soul itself.

Yet he saw the light. And he did not understand what to do in this situation. Rolling over to make it easier to look at it, he looked ... yeah, definitely looked up at it. Even such a small fire burned with an intolerable flame. The boy literally felt his essence disappeared in this light. All his memories, everything, desire to move forward, emotions and affections. All this was absorbed by this light, forcing him only to float forward as if with the flow.

But something, that light could not took from the boy.

_I don't want to die._

Feelings returned like a thunderbolt into a small and fragile human body. The boy fully realized the only desire that remained in his empty mind.

_I want to live._

He floundered in this darkness, looked around, looking in this absence of space for at least something that could remind him of what happened before. What his life was before.

He desperately searched for it and finally found it. On the opposite side of this unbearably bright light, pictures flashed, images that he could not identify. A red-haired woman and a gray-haired man waved at him from one image, from another a girl with the same red hair and golden eyes as his, and hardly older than himself, shyly smiled, touching the hem of her skirt.

_I can't leave, not now ..._

He ran forward. He ran, giving all his best, as fast as he had never run before ... but so it only seemed to him. He just floundered in place, unable to approach these images that warmed him with their light.

It is not known how much time he spent, floundering in the darkness, not taking his eyes off the images that visited him, but in the end his strength left him, but the desire to resist did not disappear.

A spasm twisted his little body, and the darkness around him turned scarlet. The images, all of a sudden, began to collapse one by one, bleeding and turning to dust, and there was nothing he could do about it, fighting for every millimeter and trying to breathe.

But he was not allowed to do that either.

An alien will, designed to prevent him from moving on, twisted every cell of his body, fettering his mind and body. The boy resisted as best he could, but the crimson light around only continued to flood everything, and it seemed that it began to flood even into his body, through his eyes, nose, mouth, ears, even through the pores on his skin.

_I want to live, I don't want to die!_

The bright light from behind exploded in myriads of shards, sprinkling the boy and scalding him with heat so much that it seemed as if a whole tank of boiling water had been poured on him.

He screamed. As loud as he could, unable to contain the pain filling every cell.

_**\- AND YER DESIRE WILL BE OUR FROM NOW -** _

But he didn't hear it. He was consumed by pain.

_**\- LET YER WILL BE OUR -** _

His will was now undergoing a severe test, but it could not break. It didn't dare to do so.

_**\- BUT ANY OF YER WEAKNESS WILL BECOME AN OPENING FOR US -** _

_**\- YOU WILL BECOME OUR NEXT MEDIUM -** _

_**\- UNTILL THEN YOU WILL LIVE -** _

He heard it but could not comprehend it. He understood, but didn't realize its meaning. The pain disappeared so quickly that he screamed for another couple of seconds, only then realizing that there was no more reason to scream.

_**\- SO FAST THAT EVEN IT CAN'T CATCH YOU -** _

And the next moment, he opened his eyes. The black sun was grinning over him again, pouring out of itself a muck filled with the curses of humanity. He understood this more clearly than ever. Besides that ... He doesn't understand nor remember anything else.

Not immediately, but he realized that he was not lying on the hot stones. Flames dance around him, but he didn't seem to feel it. He was pressed to something. A warm body, which protected him from all adversity and did not allow him to be hurt by the sharp hot stones. Inside the boy, somewhere in the middle of his chest, a flame spread, causing scratches, small wounds and burns to burn with fire. But the boy felt that it did not hurt him. Although the burning sensation continued, the pain went away and very soon there was not even anything left of it. Nothing even remotely reminiscent of the pain that he experienced ...

And all this time he was not released. A man smelling of smoke and a little bit of tobacco, he had a black hair and calloused hands and was dressed in a black suit with a cloak. He lifted the boy from his chest and looked into his empty eyes.

The boy's heart sank with an emotion that he didn't immediately understand. Far from immediately.

_Why is this man crying? He smiles ... but still cries ..._

"Thank you ... thank you ..."

_Why does he thank me? Is he crying because of me?_

"Thank you ... thank you for being alive ..."

_He is glad ... that I am alive ..._

This thought could not normally fit into the boy's head. But simultaneously with it, a bright and sparkling thought arose in his head.

_I don't want him to cry ... I don't want anyone ever to cry ..._

And the man continued to thank him. Thank him for being one of the survivors.

_I want to make sure that no one ever cries._

* * *

My life began with a vision of a black sun, smells of tobacco and burnt flesh clogging my nostrils. The man who found me in the ruins of the Great Fire held me close, thanking me that I survived. I did not understand why he was grateful to me, what happened around, what was happening at the moment, and also did not remember anything from my life. My personality was as empty as a blank slate, and my body was filled only with basic skills.

This body was given the first name Shirou and the last name Emiya. I was saved by a magician, the Magus Killer Emiya Kiritsugu, who adopted me. He immediately told me who he was, without hiding anything from me. And, although not immediately, I also learned from him what happened that day.

As a result of Kiritsugu's actions, the Holy Grail was destroyed, and I lost my home, relatives and family. I did not quite understand the meaning of his words then, because of the spontaneity of his story, and realized it only years later. However, at that moment there was already no resentment left in me and no any negative that could be directed at him.

To be honest, Kiritsugu wasn't a good mentor. Kiritsugu did not talk about whether he had a family before me, and diligently avoided any questions I had on this topic. There was no way I could have found out about this, since Kiritsugu's personality and biography was pretty low-key on its own.

Nevertheless, we lived surprisingly calmly, unless, of course, we didn't look back at Kiritsugu's periodic travels that he did not tell me about. He only brought me various souvenirs from these. Only from them I understood where he might have been. Germany, India, Japan, America, Romania, he was almost constantly on the road, looking for something incomprehensible. And at that time I was sitting with Fuji-nee, the girl who volunteered to look after me.

Although, it was still necessary to think about who looked after whom. God knows, Taiga was very frivolous and in her head she rarely had anything except for the wind. And Kendo.

Maybe it's for the best that Taiga took over my teaching. She literally hammered into her head that I had to learn to wield a sword, and not anyhow, but at least at her level.

Fortunately, I was able to moderate her ardor. Strange as it may seem, but through cooking it was possible to calm her down for a while. After eating, especially my meals, Taiga did not want to move. And I had time to go about my own business, and not after her wishes.

In those days, I went to the athletics club, and was completely absorbed in classes there. I liked the feeling of speed, the feeling that I could run and that I could win. I must say right away that I am not the kind of person who feels proud in all his victories and other people's defeats. It's just felt … nice. There are no people who would not be pleased to win at least in something. Especially if it's something they do best.

Running is something that came naturally to me. Even fighting with the sword was not that close to me. Frankly, I've enjoyed running for as long as I can remember.

But here's just one mishap ... I don't remember too much of my very busy life. From the moment I got out of the fire with Kiritsugu's help and recovered, life seemed to have turned in a completely different direction. Towards my urge to move as fast as I could.

I've always been running. In the classes for athletics. At competitions. From the boys who bullied me ... Oh, that's another story.

Coming back to that fire again ... I saw Kiritsugu cried. Growing up, I learned that he was glad that he had saved me. I was glad that I was alive. He thanked me for surviving. I didn't want him to cry, and didn't want that the person who gave me the opportunity to live would ever be upset about anything happening in the world.

Gradually, this desire grew into something else. Perhaps the secret desires of Kiritsugu, who once dreamed of becoming a hero, are to blame for this, perhaps something else ... but all this greatly influenced me. Influenced my worldview, the formation of me as a full-fledged person who is aware of all his desires.

Shaped into my main and only desire to become a hero. Who Kiritsugu wanted to be. I wanted that no one in the world would cry or be upset. That no one gets upset. I wanted to be in time to help everywhere and with everything. Protect everyone from harm and evil. Be a true hero of justice.

But the harsh reality, indeed, as always, was clearly against my ideas.

People laughed at me, frankly. But no, it was not Kiritsugu or Taiga at all, or even grandfather Raiga and his family, with whom I closely communicated. It was all the people around me at school.

Being small, absorbed in the hold of my desires, I did not realize how ridiculous my motives looked from the outside. And accordingly, I had to pay for it. And it would be fine if these were only mocking looks and offensive words, although this was enough for anyone to give up their dreams.

For any person, even all around the world, but not for me.

And so I confronted everyone who laughed at me. They were mostly kids, the same as I once was. I confess that maybe my lofty speeches were a little ... annoying to people at the time. Whenever I helped people, and protected the weak from the stronger and older, I was hurt. Even though I tried to defend myself as best I could. But as a fighter I wasn't so good, if there was no bamboo shinai nearby, and therefore I had to run away. This is where my favorite pastime helped. It turned out that I was successful at runing away. Although not always successful, but more often than not.

To run ... run ... run ... this desire was ringing in my head along with the desire to save.

It was such a vivid pleasure that even in the most difficult moments, even beaten and offended, I could not help smiling. I smiled while running. I smiled to while saving. Helping. Supporting. The emotions of knowing that I was helping people filled me with such a powerful cocktail of emotions that I literally felt myself becoming stronger. And faster.

All these years I was filled with joy and it was so strong that words cannot convey it. The real nuclear explosion resonated somewhere in the depths of the soul, making the impossible possible. And in less than a year, it seemed to me that I became _fast_. Nobody else could catch up with me. It was simply impossible. I ran so fast that any competition was not a problem.

But this was not enough of the reason to feel prideful. I was worried about something else. I was so happy, felt so good, that it seemed ... as if I was vibrating. My whole body exuded a vibration that no one seemed to notice.

And there were only Kiritsugu's strange sidelong glances. They made it clear that something was wrong. Something about Emiya Shirou was different from other people. Moving faster was normal. Athletes around the world run faster. It's okay to want to help others. I could just become a firefighter or go to the police. A strong desire to help others is also normal. Perhaps I would become very dedicated to my work?

But something else ... I did not immediately understand his words. Honestly, I didn't understand his words at all. What he said ... it was ... something different. Something that I did not associate with myself, I could not understand and accept.

Kiritsugu once told me that I dissolve into space. He noticed that if I am very happy about something, I begin to vibrate. The outlines of my body became indistinct and blurred, like the whole body was, and I moved at a speed unnoticeable by a simple look. Not even by an experienced look. Kiritsugu, as a Magician, had no idea what was happening to me. Perhaps it was a blessing? A curse? Who knows? One way or another, it didn't harm me in any way. It only helped. Helped my direct desire to be in time everywhere.

Only Kiritsugu was gloomier than a cloud and kept silent when I tried to question him. Apparently, he didn't want to fall in my eyes, saying that he didn't know what was happening to me. But I would not even dare to think so. He doesn't know it? Then there is no such information at all. In my eyes, Kiritsugu would never have fallen.

Now, of course, I knew about my father's past. He was a hitman. A killer. For a twelve-year-old me, this unimportant. People were judging by the law of conscience seemed like heroes. But Kiritsugu was not. According to him, of course. For me, he had always been and always will be a hero.

As far as I know, Kiritsugu didn't make any special notes. Otherwise, I would have been able to find out at least something about what happened to me and how to manage it. But it was definitely some kind of magic, or a special ability. When I found out about this, I was overwhelmed with such a wild and unbridled joy that I jumping out of my skin from joy, just to learn how to consciously run as fast as I can. Kiritsugu warned me as best he could, pointing out that Taiga should be the last person to know about this, but I didn't care that much. Kiritsugu himself, in moments of my wild joy, could only notice me by applying his magic. He slowed down time to have enough to react to me. Only in this way he was able intercept me. And of course, he did it successfully.

However ... not always. I still went to school. Then ... then one of the most important events happened that affected the formation of me as I know myself, and as my acquaintances know me, that know secrets inaccessible to others.

It happened once. Despite the fact that I was almost always running, I was sometimes late to school because the responsibility ... well, I have a difficult relationship with it, despite my heroic attitude. So I was late sometimes ... Okay, I was often late, and that day was one of those days. There was only over ten minutes left before the start of the classes, and even if I run faster, even trying very hard, it would take twenty minutes. Ideally, it was necessary to go out with an hour left, but that day, on that very day, I got the feeling that something interfered with my plans. And I did not know what it was: fate, higher powers, or something completely different.

One way or another, I ran as usual on my route to school.

And that's when I noticed it. I had literally eight hundred meters left before turning to the school yard. I saw what required my intervention, although I did not even had time to make it to it. I saw and was able to comprehend what would happen in the blink of an eye, but it felt like long, very long seconds to me.

I saw a moving stream of cars. I noticed one car among this stream. I saw where it was going and what it would do.

I also saw a person. A little girl, five years younger than me.

The car would run over her because either she didn't look around, or, perhaps, she just got lost.

But none of this mattered.

What mattered was that she would die. She will die if I don't save her. The girl was a hundred meters away. A pitiful hundred meters, which would have taken me six to eight seconds to overcome.

But the girl did not have this time. From there I saw in the window of the car how driver spun the steering wheel. I saw and knew what would happen.

The girl had no more than a couple of seconds before she died. Moreover, no one can do anything about it, because the car has already skidded, and the driver wasn't able control the movement of his vehicle.

At that moment, I, not a particularly religious child, prayed to all the gods. Everyone I knew. God, let time slow down even for a few seconds! Let the car go away in the other direction!

But none of this was destined to come true.

Because no one would have had time to save her unless higher powers had to intervene or something like that.

Or someone ...

For a moment, I felt heat all over my body. I felt as hot as I had never been before. A moment of weakness followed, as if all the strength had been drained from me. But after ...

After that…

It was unforgettable!

I still couldn't explain what happened. The world around me evaporated. Disappeared. Turned into thin colorful stripes. Like how it was shown in cartoons, but from the point of view of the character.

And then the heat returned. So unbearable that there was nothing to even breathe. But after that, I realized that I could do anything. I will do anything just to direct this heat, this unbearable heat somewhere outside. And I succeeded. It worked only once. But I didn't ask for more.

The world around froze. And as soon as I moved. In the real world, not even a second had passed. But for me it was forever. In the real world, no one understood anything. Not this frightened, clueless girl, not the driver, not a policeman around the corner. No one.

It was just my Speed and me.

The only thing I realized was that the girl had become sharply closer. Much closer. I managed to grab her in my arms, hold her tightly to me, and then ... then I was gone.

It feels like I disappeared from this world and ended up in another point. It feels like I have teleported in space.

But that was not the case. Not at all. I didn't teleport. I was moving. I ran so fast that I couldn't even be seen. And no living creature would be able to notice me. No one ever. Even Kiritsugu, no matter how hard he tried.

The lightning flashed and the girl disappeared from the road. And I was already far away. About seven hundred meters from where I was. Opening my eyes, which, as it turned out, I closed, I saw a girl who was trembling strongly.

And a school nearby ...

... Since then, my life has changed dramatically. I realized what I was capable of and used it.

But ... if then it was a blessing for me, then at one point it became a curse. As if it caused the biggest failure of my life. A real nightmare that I could not have survived if no one was around. If no one supported me at the very least by a couple of words.

Kiritsugu died that day. I already knew that, according to him, he was dying by the curse of the Grail, but I did not expect the worst to happen so soon.

That day it was made clear to me that I was not alone. I learned that day that all the boys who mocked my dream were just an unpleasant hindrance.

On that day ... someone appeared who hated me and my dream so much that he was ready to do anything just to destroy me. Destroy me mentally and physically. Do everything so that I don't exist.

On that day, a man enveloped in red lightning burst into the house where Kiritsugu and I lived and killed him. I managed to notice it only at the last moment, but despite all my magical speed, I could not do anything. Running into the house, I froze, unable to move.

Despair. That day I learned what it is like. I got to know my companion which had accompanied me for many years later.

When I ran into the house, while feeling that something was wrong, I saw ... that. Kiritsugu, face twisted with horror, was hanging from the outstretched arm of a man with a blurred silhouette. A person whose face I could never make out and I still don't know. And I don't know what that man have said to him ... was that even a human being? ... But for me all this didn't matter. It didn't matter because there was only one thing that mattered. He killed my father. He killed Kiritsugu. A hand was sticking out of my old man's chest, right from the place his heart was.

Red eyes burning with hatred turned to me, and I flinched. I will never forget this horror that flared up inside.

In the blink of an eye, Kiritsugu fell to the floor, and a distorted, inhuman voice literally ordered me to catch up with him, with the person who killed the one most dear to me.

But there was no need to order me. I've never run that fast before. I don't know how long we ran, maybe through the whole city, maybe even through the whole prefecture. I didn't even know where I was. Everything around me was immersed in horizontal colorful lines racing around me.

My eyes were covered with rage. Hate, pain and despair. I remembered these feelings for a long time.

But the race did not last long. At one point everything stopped. I found myself inside a cave, the location of which I did not know. I did not know about its existence. On the elevation stood this creature ... the killer of my father. And what I felt from it, from all this place, was a terrible desire for destruction and death that I ... do not even know. I hardly understand how my didn't turn gray from the horror that swept through my whole being and even through my soul.

I did not understand and did not realize what he told me then. How could it be that another Holy Grail War would happen? How can these events be related? How is he involved in all of this? I didn't know any of this, but I understood one thing very clearly. When the war starts, we will meet again and I will be ready. Because that day, I wasn't able to ever catch up with him. I was too weak, inexperienced and slow ...

... And now four more years have passed. Perhaps all of it influenced my being, my growing up into who I am? Influenced my understanding of myself? I feel hate. I feel an overwhelming desire to punish that person. Even something akin to desire to kill. Kill him for taking my most precious person from me.

But ... in the very depths of my soul, such thoughts were always hindered by something unusual. Very warm and quivering. Something that I will never forget and will not be able to erase from memory in any way.

_Thank you, boy ..._

This thought.

_Lord, thank you ..._

A thought.

_Thank you ... God bless you boy ..._

So bright.

_I am so grateful to you, thank you ..._

So warm and lovely.

_Thank you ... thank you for being alive ..._

Thoughts that I am not a killer. And another thing Kiritsugu once told me. That which I did not remember and would not be able remember, because the memory of this is forever lost and cannot be restored.

It is said by people that from the Great Fire in the Fuyuki city, a little boy pulled out fourteen people. One by one, he pulled them out, and then again returned to the fiery hell to find someone else.

In order to find salvation in the form of the person, Kiritsugu, who saw his own salvation in him, in Shirou.

Perhaps this is what made me who I am. What I have become over the years.

After all, now, whatever one may say, I am able to save, if not all, then many.

Because I am a flash, driving away the dark veil of despair from people.

Because I am Emiya Shirou. Defender of Justice and the one who saves others.


End file.
